We’ll meander this week through a dreamlike state, wrestle with familiarity, see ourselves as sinful, and then rejoice in knowing we are His and He is ours.
Father, I ask that as I read Your Word that you would prompt my heart to listen. Let your Truth sink deep into the darkness of my soul so that Light it brought forth. Help me to see my nakedness, and then allow Your robe of righteousness to cover me. Amen.
She
2 I slept but my heart was awake.
Listen! My beloved is knocking:
"Open to me, my sister, my darling,
my dove, my flawless one.
My head is drenched with dew,
my hair with the dampness of the night."
3 I have taken off my robe—
must I put it on again?
I have washed my feet—
must I soil them again?
4 My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening;
my heart began to pound for him.
5 I arose to open for my beloved,
and my hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with flowing myrrh,
on the handles of the bolt.
6 I opened for my beloved,
but my beloved had left; he was gone.
My heart sank at his departure.
I looked for him but did not find him.
I called him but he did not answer.
7 The watchmen found me
as they made their rounds in the city.
They beat me, they bruised me;
they took away my cloak,
those watchmen of the walls!
8 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you—
if you find my beloved,
what will you tell him?
Tell him I am faint with love.
Friends
9 How is your beloved better than others,
most beautiful of women?
How is your beloved better than others,
that you so charge us?
She
10 My beloved is radiant and ruddy,
outstanding among ten thousand.
11 His head is purest gold;
his hair is wavy
and black as a raven.
12 His eyes are like doves
by the water streams,
washed in milk,
mounted like jewels.
13 His cheeks are like beds of spice
yielding perfume.
His lips are like lilies
dripping with myrrh.
14 His arms are rods of gold
set with topaz.
His body is like polished ivory
decorated with lapis lazuli.
15 His legs are pillars of marble
set on bases of pure gold.
His appearance is like Lebanon,
choice as its cedars.
16 His mouth is sweetness itself;
he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved, this is my friend,
daughters of Jerusalem.
Friends
6 Where has your beloved gone,
most beautiful of women?
Which way did your beloved turn,
that we may look for him with you?
She
2 My beloved has gone down to his garden,
to the beds of spices,
to browse in the gardens
and to gather lilies.
3 I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine;
he browses among the lilies.
There's a reason we have a genre of movies described as "chick-flicks." Women tend to connect emotionally, and there is a propensity to love those romanticized, scripted stories. They stir desires within us. Whether it's Cinderella, Snow White, more modern movies, or soapy Netflix series—we love the ebbs and flow of love (as long as it has a happy ending).
As we watch these movies and shows, it can leave us lackluster with reality. Familiarity can turn to boredom, even if you're married. Duguid tells us this in his commentary, Song of Songs:
"Entering marriage is not the end of your search for a spouse. It is the beginning of a lifelong pursuit, as you continually sin against each other, and then ask for forgiveness, pushing through the obstacles that threaten to divide you in search of true intimacy."
Disney doesn't write the story line like that. You see Prince Charming and the unworthy woman swept away in blissful matrimony and these ending words: "And so they lived happily ever after..." That is a lie, friends. It's not all happiness—it's hard work. But, it's also worthy work, and it's more beautiful than you can imagine if it's lead and loved well.
The verses we're studying this week begin with a woman half-awake. [Btw, I'm pretty sure I live in this state most of the time.] It's unclear whether she was asleep or falling asleep; however, she was not entirely unconscious. If you read the verses, they seem a bit erratic -- not all the descriptors make sense or flow seamlessly. Which is much like a dream sequence.
I was telling my husband recently of a dream I'd had. I was flying to France on a business trip. One co-worker was with me, and then two friends from high school I never even hung out with were there, too. I got to the airport, and I had my expired Passport with me. I went looking for it and apparently left my luggage somewhere, and it was stolen. I then found my correct Passport, but couldn't find my luggage, so the airline agent gave me a bunch of cash to replace my clothes when I got to France (in American dollars). I put it in my purse, and in my dream, I thought, "I'll just use my Amex and then deposit the cash. Where will I find underwear?"
See? Erratic. Confusing. Totally stressful. I won't be traveling anytime soon, and when I do, I'll know all the right things to do (and not do) beforehand. Geez.
This dreamlike state the woman is recounting isn't real or actual events. It does contrast what we saw in Chapter 2—a couple that couldn't bear to be apart and ached to be together. Now, it's like, "Not tonight, dear. I have a headache."
As Duguid says, "The tragic opposite of burning love is not necessarily fierce hate: it can be a simple bored indifference to the desires and needs of the loved one."
Let that soak in for a moment because I've struggled with this myself, and it's not uncommon. Colossians 3:23-24 tells us this:
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
I was just on Day 33 of my 40 Prayers for My Husband book by Selena Frederick. The theme was a prayer that my husband would fight familiarity. It was a prayer about how life can feel burdensome and dull. In those moments, we can desire more and be tempted away from the Lord. It's a prayer for his strength, his life, and his hope!
As a spoke those words over my (almost 40-year-old) husband, I felt like I needed to hear those words for my own soul. Like the couple in this poem, life and desires are not always synchronized.
I love how the friends speak in these verses:
How is your beloved better than others,
most beautiful of women?
How is your beloved better than others,
that you so charge us?
They don't have the answers for this couple experiencing a "funk" and a mismatch in desires—but they prompt the questions. They prompt the woman to recall who her lover is and why she loves him. They nudge her to remember (just like our Savior does!).
As she begins to recount his amazement, she has a "light bulb" moment. Notice what she says in Song of Songs 6:1
"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine;
he browses among the lilies."
This is an essential revelation and a nudge from the Holy Spirit. We are deeply selfish beings and whether married or single, we must know we belong to God and not ourselves. I am insanely selfish. And, you are, too. I love to be served. This poem challenges me to see how I behave toward others and toward my spouse. Living in a community will make you see your selfishness, too.
We love to be gods. To be worshiped and served by others. We are addicted to ourselves. It's not just married people who are relentlessly self-absorbed. However, marriage does tend to bring out that self-indulgent "character" in an intense way.
"Our insecurity and self-centeredness lead us to the worst possible approach to dating, too. We stay in a toxic relationship that we should leave, or we settle for someone who isn't really a good match for us, because we are terrified that if we terminate this relationship, no one else will want us. Alternatively, we bounce from relationship to relationship because no one can meet our impossibly demanding expectations. either way, it is all about us." Duguid
Just like the woman in this poem, we roam the dark and purposeless streets in search of protection and peace. We've been beaten, bruised, and mocked by this world when we have chosen sin over servant-hood. But peace is near, and it isn't found in a human lover, either.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
Jesus demonstrated and sacrificed His entire life because He knew we were completely self-absorbed and destined for destruction without intervention.
In Revelation 3:14-22, the church of Laodicea is spoken to, and there are familiar words in these verses as we find in Song of Songs:
14 "To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:
These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. 15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.
19 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. 20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.
21 To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches."
Beloved, we live lukewarm lives. Maybe not all the time, but it happens. Familiarity with our Savior sets in. The comfortable posture this world offers begins to make us lazy. I speak these words because I have lived this life, and I fight it daily. Some days better than others.
This poem's call is that we would get up and answer the door today while He still knocks. We are wretched, pitiful, blind, and naked. We are "eh" about God. We are "eh" about our relationships. We are "eh" about life. And when those roots are dry and fragile, our fruit is pretty fruitless. I say these words because I know this season.
However, it's time to answer the knock. It's time to repent of our self-centeredness and self-worship and to find the truest love of our life: Jesus Christ.
Here I am, Lord. Opening the door to you every day and setting aside my agenda. I know I will be imperfect, but I can rest in your perfect love. Help me not to strive for things that only You can give. Give me profound joy in the work I do so that I may glorify You. Reassure me that I can be still and have true soul rest, found only in You. I desire to be a living sacrifice, pure and holy (Romans 12:1). Amen.