I wrote this Bible study from the "bottom-up" this week. Frankly, because I wrestled with verse 1: "Dead flies make the perfumer's ointment give off a stench..." I recently heard this on a podcast: We need to quit treating pornography like a fly in the ointment when it's really a viper in the bedroom.
There are several sins the Church has neglected to correctly name and address (porn being one of them, but not all of them). Whether it's out of pride, shame, embarrassment, or other reasons, we must fight the darkness with Light. Light is illuminated through transparency, and transparency is created through vulnerability.
We need to quit treating pornography like a fly in the ointment when it's really a viper in the bedroom.
1 Dead flies make the perfumer's ointment give off a stench;
so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor.
2 A wise man's heart inclines him to the right,
but a fool's heart to the left.
3 Even when the fool walks on the road, he lacks sense,
and he says to everyone that he is a fool.
4 If the anger of the ruler rises against you, do not leave your place,
for calmness will lay great offenses to rest.
As we study this chapter, let’s anchor to James 5:13-18, which talks about faith in prayer and the role of transparency:
"Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the Church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth. Then he prayed again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit."
We must name the sin (dead flies) and recognize that we can name them in ourselves (and in others) because they are familiar to us. We see evil because we are evil beings.
There are many secret sins, and pornography is probably the most common. It's not the only secret sin, but sin done in private brings hopelessness and isolation. When we feel hopeless and alone, Satan has the upper hand.
1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."
It's interesting how 1 Corinthians 10:13 is often misquoted. The context is about temptations, not circumstances (it doesn't say anything about God not giving us more than we can bear in terms of hardships). This verse should bring us encouragement! The temptations we face are not unique. You are not alone. He has a way out. He will not allow you to receive more temptation than He can provide the strength to overcome.
No matter what sin you're up against, remember that you are more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37). It may not feel like it right now, but you are. Last week, I encouraged you all to spend some time in Romans 7 and 8. Sanctification from sin is a process. It’s a layered healing. There's a beautiful song sung by Natalie Grant called More Than Anything. All the lyrics are moving, but here's the crux:
I know if you wanted to you could wave your hand
Spare me this heartache and change your plan
And I know when he said that you could take my pain away
But even if you don't I pray
Help me want the healer more than the healing
Help me want the savior more than the saving
Help me want the giver more than the giving
Oh help me want you Jesus more than anything
More than anything, He wants you to know Him. That's tough when we're wrestling with the flesh. But, we must name the shame and bring it into the Light so that He can accomplish our surrender for us. Pornography. Drug addictions. Adultery. Alcoholism. Habitual masturbation. Fantasizing and romanticizing about another life. Lust. This doesn't mean these sins are worse than other sins, but they do tend to be the secret ones. What is mastering you today? Say today, “My lord, O king, according to thy saying, I am thine, and all that I have.” [1 Kings 20:1-4]
I remember confessing to a close friend years ago a deep-seated struggle. I feared she wouldn't understand my shame. I thought she would be disappointed, surprised, and question me. That was a lie. It was a moment of love and understanding as we sat in the coffeehouse that evening. And, as I shared my own pain, she shared hers. That was the first of many steps in overcoming my addiction to self-gratification. For once, I didn't feel so hopeless, and I wasn't alone. That, my friends, is why a life lived in the Light produces freedom. It's risky work, but it's absolutely worth it. I've shared many similar, transparent moments with my husband of a dozen years now. It doesn’t get easier in the moment, but it’s absolutely worth it in the end. Live in the Light, friends. [For those who are married, I’d highly recommend See-Through Marriage by Ryan and Salena Fredrick for more on building freedom and transparency in your relationship.]
5 There is an evil that I have seen under the sun, as it were an error proceeding from the ruler: 6 folly is set in many high places, and the rich sit in a low place. 7 I have seen slaves on horses, and princes walking on the ground like slaves.
The Preacher faithfully reminds us that life is unfair. There is error. Sin. Pain. Life is backward, sideways, and upside-down. This world is not our home.
8 He who digs a pit will fall into it,
and a serpent will bite him who breaks through a wall.
9 He who quarries stones is hurt by them,
and he who splits logs is endangered by them.
10 If the iron is blunt, and one does not sharpen the edge,
he must use more strength,
but wisdom helps one to succeed.
11 If the serpent bites before it is charmed,
there is no advantage to the charmer.
These verses may seem strange, but the purpose is to recognize the random nature of life. There may be no ill-intent when you're digging a ditch or splitting logs, but if there's foolishness at work, inherent risk is present.
Bottom line: ask for wisdom, especially in everyday tasks. The comfortable, ordinary tasks may be the ones that require the most strength!
12 The words of a wise man's mouth win him favor,
but the lips of a fool consume him.
13 The beginning of the words of his mouth is foolishness,
and the end of his talk is evil madness.
14 A fool multiplies words,
though no man knows what is to be,
and who can tell him what will be after him?
Words matter. Ephesians 4:29 says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Notice how it says we must build others up according to their needs. I frequently fail at this. My conversational method can be rather direct, and at times I fail to build others up according to their needs or how they would best receive love.
15 The toil of a fool wearies him,
for he does not know the way to the city.
There is a blessing in work, but the fool doesn't realize this.
16 Woe to you, O land, when your king is a child,
and your princes feast in the morning!
17 Happy are you, O land, when your king is the son of the nobility,
and your princes feast at the proper time,
for strength, and not for drunkenness!
18 Through sloth the roof sinks in,
and through indolence the house leaks.
19 Bread is made for laughter,
and wine gladdens life,
and money answers everything.
20 Even in your thoughts, do not curse the king,
nor in your bedroom curse the rich,
for a bird of the air will carry your voice,
or some winged creature tell the matter.
A fascinating section of scripture related to how foolishness corrupts a nation. Whether it's gluttony, laziness, or speaking unkindly of those in authority, there are repercussions. Contrastingly, when there are faithful leaders, blessing follows!
"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!' Matthew 25:23
TIME AND REFLECTION
As we think about Solomon's everyday life advice, take a moment to confess the "dead flies" in your perfume. We are called to be the aroma of Christ (2 Corinthians 2:15-17). Ask God to walk with you through the sanctification process. He is ready! Find a godly guardrail you can confess your sin to and ask to pray along with you in the sanctification journey.
Suppose you're feeling hopeless about overcoming your sin or a detrimental situation. If that is the case, I can't recommend Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray enough. It is a book I read and re-read and has countless markings in it. Yet, every time I pick it up, it's like it's the first time my soul has read the words. God's Word works the same way.
Praying for you. Keep going!