If you’ve read the last two entries in this series, you know the story. I walked through a long, quiet unraveling. First came the gentle undoing—the slow loosening of structures, roles, and rhythms I had built my life around. Then came the fog—the deconstruction and disorientation that stripped away what I thought I knew about God, myself, and the faith I had long called home.
This post is part of a four-part series exploring my deeply personal (yet, community-oriented) journey of spiritual transformation—through deconstruction, disorientation, and reorientation. Each post is a window into a different season of the path: the unraveling, the wandering, the returning, and the re-forming. My hope is that, as you read, you’ll feel less alone in your questions and more aware of the God who walks with us through every chapter.
I shared some reflections a few weeks ago. Although I've been a Bible learner and disciple of Christ for many years, I do not yet have this walk figured out. It's filled with missteps and mistakes, and even when I re-read some of my prior posts, I can see how I could have represented the truth more fully and adequately. It is humbling to know that God still brings truth even in our tiny bit of understanding.
Today, we start a Bible study I've refused to write for months. It is a chapter out of my dark soul and a testament to the bright communion God showed me over a long, swarthy night. I know I need to sit still and get some of the messy, messy work God has graciously done down on paper. I dread it and welcome it all in one.