Disordered Desires: Week 2 in Song of Songs

Since this book is poetry, we need to allow the text to breathe and keep it in context as much as possible. In each study, I'll provide the entire text we're study for the week and then the application and thoughts at the end. Don't skip over the verses (that's cheating!). 

Sometimes, we rush through the verses to get to the explanation. Alternately, ask the Holy Spirit to speak to you as you read and re-read what's written. Fight the pull to "get to the end" as fast as possible. The journey is what matters. God will take care of the finale, friends. 

1 Solomon's Song of Songs.

She

2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—

    for your love is more delightful than wine.

3 Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;

    your name is like perfume poured out.

    No wonder the young women love you!

4 Take me away with you—let us hurry!

    Let the king bring me into his chambers.

Friends

We rejoice and delight in you;

    we will praise your love more than wine.

She

How right they are to adore you!

5 Dark am I, yet lovely,

    daughters of Jerusalem,

dark like the tents of Kedar,

    like the tent curtains of Solomon.

6 Do not stare at me because I am dark,

    because I am darkened by the sun.

My mother's sons were angry with me

    and made me take care of the vineyards;

    my own vineyard I had to neglect.

7 Tell me, you whom I love,

    where you graze your flock

    and where you rest your sheep at midday.

Why should I be like a veiled woman

    beside the flocks of your friends?

Friends

8 If you do not know, most beautiful of women,

    follow the tracks of the sheep

and graze your young goats

    by the tents of the shepherds.

He

9 I liken you, my darling, to a mare

    among Pharaoh's chariot horses.

10 Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings,

    your neck with strings of jewels.

11 We will make you earrings of gold,

    studded with silver.

She

12 While the king was at his table,

    my perfume spread its fragrance.

13 My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh

    resting between my breasts.

14 My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms

    from the vineyards of En Gedi.

[Song of Songs 1:1-14, NIV]

Verse 1 says, "Solomon's Song of Songs." Troublesome. Does this mean Solomon wrote it? 1 Kings 1:11 tells us that Solomon wrote 1,005 and 3,000 proverbs. Uh, he was busy with his quill pen and papyrus!

This Song of Songs was the finest of songs. In a way, we can think of it as the Holy of Holies—the innermost and most deeply intimate of writings. 

There are debates and questions among scholars about the role of Solomon in this book. Is he the author? Is he the shepherd and hero of the story? Was this book written later in Solomon's life as an act of repentance based on his actions throughout his life (i.e., taking 700 wives...no, that's not a typo)?

"Now King Solomon loved many foreign women, along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations concerning which the Lord had said to the people of Israel, "You shall not enter into marriage with them, neither shall they with you, for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods." Solomon clung to these in love. He had 700 wives, who were princesses, and 300 concubinesAnd his wives turned away his heart. For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father." 1 Kings 11:1-4

I personally don't have clarity on who wrote this book, and that's okay. I find it hard to believe Solomon wrote it based on the disobedient life he lived in his later years. However, I won't get hung up on one verse when I know there are many more verses that I could chew on. Don't you love how I am not providing an answer to the question posed? It's kind of like Jesus being asked a direct question such as, "How do I inherit eternal life?" He responds to it with a round-about parable about a man who was beaten, and only a good Samaritan would help him (Luke 10:25-37).

Regardless of the writer and Solomon's role in this Song, we know this: It is a love story about a man and a woman, which provides insight into Christ's love for His bride. Sign me up for that!

Lord, as I study this book of desire — I want to long for You. I have searched for many years, and I am looking for You, my True joy. Only You satisfy, yet I seek the lies that provide only fleeting comfort. Let my desire be for You alone. Restore me, I pray, under the banner of Your love. Quiet me by your love, Jesus. Amen. 

You'll notice this Song jumps right in. There's no character introductions or background. It is an immediate cry of desperation: "Kiss me...a lot!" This is a book of passion. A strong desire that's stirred, frustrated, satisfied, frustrated again and satisfied again. Roller. Coaster. Sounds like life, eh?

In the beginning dialogue, the man isn't with her. She's left dreaming of his kisses, his touch, the smell of his skin. And, she clearly hopes to be swept away as his wife as it says, "Take me away with you—let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers" (SoS 1:4). 

I like her style. She knows what she wants, she's open about it, but it's pointedly focused on him. She longs for a man who will lead her (she wants him to kiss her), while at the same time, she isn't shy nor shrinks back. She's neither overly aggressive nor overly passive. Women: let's make a mental note of that. 

Next, the verses move from the woman speaking to "friends." Who dat? They are women, and probably the best relation in our modern-day culture would be bridesmaids. Remember, this is a song. I mentioned in the intro to think about it as a loose collection of songs. We get bursts and melodies of what's happening, but it's not the entire story. When the "friends" speak in verse 4, it's like they're singing back to her.

We rejoice and delight in you;

    we will praise your love more than wine.

In essence, they're saying, "Oh, you're so right. He's a wonderful man." We're going to follow-up on the role of friendship and community later in this study. If you're single, know this: You have an extraordinary design for God's kingdom. You are the person who is to help "catch the foxes" (SoS 2:15) that ruin other people's marriages. Marriage should not be idolized because it's not designed for all, despite our cultural norms. Jesus was the most perfect human being and never experienced marriage or sexual intimacy. Yet, he had profound and joyful relationships. 

Verse 5 is a moment of vulnerability. "Dark am I, yet lovely, daughters of Jerusalem, dark like the tents of Kedar, like the tent curtains of Solomon." This isn't a verse about ethnicity; it's one that's society-focused. It was not cool to be tan these days. Tan skin --> field worker --> lower class. 

Essentially, she's confessing to her soon-to-be husband how she'll look (nakey) when he does sweep her into his chamber. Women struggle with comparison without even realizing it at times. We try to measure up to those masqueraded social media posts and filtered selfies. That is not real life, friends. And when we allow ourselves to be steeped in scripted love novels, soapy movies, perfected news feeds, we miss life

We live in a society that believes our wants and desires should be satisfied—quickly. That's why there's 2-day shipping, click and buy options that are "frictionless" experiences, and a BNPL (buy-now-pay-later) boom. We are wired for immediate gratification. 

Most who know me know I enjoy a homey home. I mean, I'm kind of a clean freak; I like to move furniture around and roam flea markets for things "I can't live without." I blame Grandma (she's reading this now...and my cell phone just rang because she has a retort to that accusation). Back to the point: This is not our home. As much as I want my house to look like it belongs in The Magnolia Journal, it won't. I have four boys who are not ready to be released into the wild because they are slobs. Hence, we just asked a contractor to tile the ENTIRE bathroom to not suffer from water-damaged sheetrock for the next 15 years. 

This is life. It is not meant to be perfect, but the desire for perfection isn't sinful. It's merely the eternal desire God infused in our veins when He transposed our blood for His. When we have a passion, we often believe it must be satisfied on this side of heaven. This is where disordered desires come into play. We try to fill that desire our way—addictions, sinful behaviors, or the like begin to creep in and take root.

"The Song of Songs aches with sexual desire, but it surrenders sex to the glory of God by securing the satisfaction of its desire within the bridal chamber." Phillip Ryken

Listen to how the man responds to the woman's vulnerability and fear in verses 9-11:

I liken you, my darling, to a mare

    among Pharaoh's chariot horses.

Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings,

    your neck with strings of jewels.

We will make you earrings of gold,

    studded with silver.

He provides words of affirmation to her. He allows her to speak about her insecurities, and he counters those with how he sees her. She's like a mare among stallions. She's beautiful and one-of-a-kind. If men happen to be reading this: make a mental note of that. 

This is a beautiful picture of how Christ Jesus sees us as His bride.

"You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden." Matthew 5:14

Beloved of Christ: make a mental note of that. 

This man and woman exchange words of love for one another, just as Christ has spoken to us. The desire that is stirred will also be satisfied, which we'll soon discover. But, don't miss the meaning of these words as it relates to your love relationship with Christ. 

Does this poem or melody reflect how you think of Him? Do you daydream about your Savior or speak His praises to your friends? I don't. Or, at least nothing like Christ does. 

The good news is, He knows that already. He's not trying to guilt me into loving Him. He tries to woo me to "follow the tracks" that He's already walked before me. He desires for me to graze in His pasture, and He desires that I seek Him just like in verse 7. 

Tell me, you whom I love,

    where you graze your flock

    and where you rest your sheep at midday.

Why should I be like a veiled woman

    beside the flocks of your friends?

He will lead you there. Keep seeking Him each day. Trust Him, knowing that your desire will be fulfilled; but, He doesn't want you to miss life in the process. He's patient. He knows you like your wants and passions satisfied and gratified quickly. Remember: He's in it for the long-game, which is an eternal finish line where we get to experience our perfect home He created just for us.

In due time, we'll join others and cast our crowns of this world at His feet and cry, "You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being” (Revelation 4:11).

Hear our prayer, Good Shepherd.