This week we officially start Psalm 25. As I mentioned, we're taking it slow.
I was at the lake with the family last week in Hot Springs, Arkansas. It was some much-needed time off, but I struggled to slow my soul and rest. This season has been a tough one for me.
It seems as though the old habits rear their head, and past sins torment me once again. Again, Paul's words in Romans stir in my heart:
"Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin." —Romans 7:24-25
My mind has been running non-stop lately, and I recognize that it's because my soul isn't anchored to His Word as it should. Sure, I'm getting up and having my morning quiet time. It's not unfruitful or in vain. But, the absolute surrender of all that I am, all that I have, and all I ever hope to be are lackluster.
"Your god may be your little Christian habit - the habit of prayer or Bible reading at certain times of your day. Watch how your Father will upset your schedule if you begin to worship your habit instead of what the habit symbolizes. We say, 'I can't do that right now; this is my time alone with God.' No, this is your time alone with your habit." —Oswald Chambers
Let us not worship our habit, but worship our God. Today, the Lord presents His Word to us. A short verse in Psalm 25:1 for us to mull over. To ponder. To speak to others. It reads:
To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. —Psalm 25:1
That's it. Nine words. This psalm opens by expressing confidence in the Lord. Each day, we "lift up" our souls. "Lift up" means to point our desires toward, set our heart on, be greedy towards, or count on. Morning by morning we lift up our souls to something or someone. It takes an intentional and obedient act to direct our desire to God Almighty. Maybe you've figured it out, but from my experience, it doesn't happen naturally because our flesh is adversarially working.
I find that when I start my days in a humble posture — often, physically on my knees in surrender — God's power rises to meet me. Then, as I lift my soul to Him, knowing that no good thing comes from me, He can use what I've surrendered just like the boy with the barley loaves and fish. A small gift abundantly multiplied.
"Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?" —John 6:9
"For with God nothing shall be impossible." —Luke 1:37
Rarely do I feel like getting on my knees. Rarely do I want to. But, it's in the moments of feeling unmotivated, defeated, tired, anxious, overwhelmed, and outright rebellious that I find God is the closest. That is, if I'm willing to point my desires to Him. He is willing to work to will and act in holiness.
"for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." Philippians 2:13
I encourage you to do that now and say, "To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul." Then, wait for hope to appear.
When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The “worst” is never the worst.
Lamentations 3:28-30 (Message)