I shared some reflections a few weeks ago. Although I've been a Bible learner and disciple of Christ for many years, I do not yet have this walk figured out. It's filled with missteps and mistakes, and even when I re-read some of my prior posts, I can see how I could have represented the truth more fully and adequately. It is humbling to know that God still brings truth even in our tiny bit of understanding.
Today, we start a Bible study I've refused to write for months. It is a chapter out of my dark soul and a testament to the bright communion God showed me over a long, swarthy night. I know I need to sit still and get some of the messy, messy work God has graciously done down on paper. I dread it and welcome it all in one.
I recently wrote a blog entitled The God of Darkness. When I hit "publish," I knew it was from the depths of my soul. I wrote it "from the other side" after a long season of disorientation. It was also one of the few blogs where I received an unusual amount of emails and texts in response because some of those individuals who read it had been or were going through a similar season.
These last couple of years have been what I would describe as a "dark night of the soul." It has other words, although none were in my vocabulary during this season: Disorientation. Deconstruction of faith (not my belief in Jesus). Darkness. Disruption. It isn't depression in the emotional sense; it is spiritual, and I've found it quite common in believers who seek Him.
